When you look at it, life is SO much better when you make the choices you’ve always wanted to make. I hate the thought of becoming one of those people that take to social media constantly, and push a load of uplifting posts to followers everyday about how amazing life can be, when you do what you want to do.
But in reality, that’s how I feel right now: I want to do that because that’s how I’m feeling every single morning! I literally have to stop myself. But from someone who has had goals and life aims for so long, and toyed with all the reasons why ‘I can’t’ do things for so long, it feels so damn good to finally be where I want to be. And I only wish I’d pushed myself sooner.
It’s took me one hell of a long time to drop the bad vibes and embrace the good in my life, to be able to feel constantly happy and content. There’s been a lot of talk from me over the years about making positive choices and changes. Mainly about one day, working for myself and waking up every morning loving what I do. Being my own boss and being so passionate about being a blogger and influencer, creating content for me everyday.
I talked myself out of it for years, putting negative vibes to the forefront. But when I finally learnt not to do that, and focus only on the positive, and my real passion, everything fell into place.
There are two reasons behind my new mindset and both are equally motivating:
Reason number one is that life is too damn short. No one knows when there last day on Earth will be, as morbid as that sounds. The idea of wasting the short time I have doing things for other people and not myself, or doing things that don’t make me feel totally happy is just not the way I wanted things to be.
Reason number two, is that life shouldn’t be spent wrapped up in negativity. Sometimes you have to step back and think, why would you choose to be negative? Why spend your time worrying about things that eat you up, dwelling on things you don’t have the capacity to change? The less time spent wallowing in negative vibes can free you up to live the best life ever.
So with those two things at the forefront of my mind, these are the four ways I’m making positive changes:
BEING KIND TO MYSELF
Beating myself up about everything was at one point the subject I could get an A star in. Over the past year, I’ve made a real effort to stop beating myself up about the things I have no control over. It didn’t happen overnight to learn when to stop being too harsh with myself, but when I do, I finally have the ability to focus on what I did achieve and celebrate that instead.
It’s all about turning those days that would previously feel like failure days into positive days, and not focusing on that unfinished ‘to-do’ list, or the negative feedback in something I may have received. Being kinder to myself recently, and brushing off negativity when it has appeared, has really had a knock on effect on most other things in my life. My relationship, my work and most importantly my mental health. Continuing on the path to kindness is definitely a direction I want to work towards.
I’ve decided to thing about 3 positive things I achieved in the day just before I go to bed at night, and give myself a little hug for it. They can be so small – even things like phoning my Mum, doing an extra 10 minutes at the gym, and turning down a project which wasn’t worth it.
DEDICATING ‘ME’ TIME
I’ve spent the past five years or so being so obsessed with my career and trying to please other people, that I realised all I was doing was tiring myself out. I could never think about time spent sat at home by myself, just watching a chick flick that I love. Or, just playing around on my laptop, indulging in some light-hearted games, and online game fun, where I could totally switch off and loose myself in ‘another world’.
I’ve started to be so much better at this now, and at least one afternoon a week, I dedicate a few hours purely and selfishly for me. You can usually find me engrossed in a series, baking a dessert and learning new baking skills, or playing games online. I learnt pretty everything to do with the fun around playing roulette via roulettepractice.com – a way I can totally switch off.
I’ve always been the sort of person in both my work life and social life to say ‘yes’ to most things, and in general, it’s a good thing. I find when I push myself and say yes to taking part in things that scare me a little, they always work out better than I thought, and I’m so relieved I dared to say yes. But, it can also be a nuisance.
Saying yes is always a tangle of the whole FOMO (fear of missing out), and as a blogger and influencer, you can imagine how many invites and work opportunities can come my way. I want to say yes to everything, but in reality, if I did that, I’d be busy all day everyday, hoping over from one event to the next, then returning home and working on every single thing possible.
And does it all benefit my life, happiness and career? No, not always. It just makes me not get FOMO, or anxiety. Since the start of 2018, I’ve only been saying yes to the right things, that work for me and mean I’m finally working on a work/life balance. It also allows me to free up time for that all important ‘me time’ mentioned above.
STEP BACK + LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE
This one is a definite work in progress for me. I find that when I’m trying to balance everything on my little shoulders, from seeing everyone, helping others, getting all my work done, replying to everyone, and caring for myself, I loose it. But by stepping back and looking at the bigger picture, that perspective always helps me to reorder my priorities.
It’s mainly about understanding each day what can be achieved, and what is truly important. It’s not only great for me to look at the bigger picture when it comes to my career (deadlines, money, networking, what should be prioritised?) but also in my personal life too. It’s far too easy to be so hard on myself when things aren’t going exactly to plan but stepping back allows me to realise things aren’t actually too bad at all and even if things are, there’s always a way to learn, try again and succeed the next time that hurdle appears.
So there you go – a little insight into how I’ve managed to become a much more positive person and lead a happier life! 2018 has so far been a turning year for me, and for all positives. It’s a hard mindset to take on, but I’ve finally reached a point where I’m content and happy with everything, and I just wish I had put things into practice sooner…